Seeing Clearer

Well, this is not by far the best I've ever done, however it is a moment in my life right now. To be able to witness the sunrise with an all new perspective, clearer eyes, a brighter future. Call this my attempt at journaling. At any rate, I must show gratitude where it belongs, to a once dear friend who said I was the most creative artist, your gone, but somewhere your spirit lives, most likely in my heart, something that can never be taken away from me. So I thank you where ever you may be, thank you for the SUNRISE, Gods promise.

Times change, but bring a new beginnings...

This is going to be a very hard blog post to write. Recent have caused me to be removed from my favorite job I have ever had; sadly I am no longer the artist-in-residence at AUP. However, in light of this I feel very strongly that a new chapter that will bring forth a more wonderful opportunity. I am now painting again in my personal residence, and much to my surprise, even more creativity is flowing. I will miss the gallery, but again, the new chances I have are flowing as my brush. I harbor nothing now but love and for the first time in a very long time peace. I am on the path of regaining myself, something forgotten or at the very least misplaced. I repeat this so much, but I do feel that when I approach the canvas, there is something already there just waiting for me to find it and bring out so others may see. "The painting has a life of its own. I try to let it come through." Jackson Pollock

This is a relationship with the work, it needs to be loved, caressed, given the attention the same as a person does; if this happens, the work is successful, if not, it fails, falls, and needs to be destroyed only to give way to a rebirth of sorts. Thankfully, that rebirth is happening to me as well, I too have failed, fallen, and been destroyed only to give way to my own personal rebirth and growth. What I thought was empty has been filled.

Don't be afraid to walk through the door, even if you are being pushed out of it. It is merely a new place, a new beginning, a new growth, a new you. Allow this process to take place, for I found if you do not, there is nothing but the past. I learned something recent, if you live in the past and worry about tomorrow, you are throwing today away. Live now, for the moment; it is truly a gift that should not be rejected.

So live, love, and paint, it isn't what you do, IT IS WHO YOU ARE. And the last piece of advice I have now, don't allow others to take that gift away from or throw it away, it is yours and meant to used.

Newest Paintings

This one had a very interesting set of images appear in the end; if you look above the right eye, you can see an outline of an American Indian with his arms raised as if he is giving an offering. The head almost looks like the world with many different colors that would make one think of races getting along.


This was just a fun quick painting.

the Tiffany lamp

How about this for a change, a little self-indulgence…I know, even I laughed. Consider this more of a self loathing, not feeling your worth, feeling very inadequate to others needs or expectations…all in all, I feel like shit; afraid to do or say anything wrong, and just as afraid not to do them either. To be honest what I feel like right now is one of those expensive Tiffany lamps, that someone would just rather walk in the dark rather than replace the bulb. It is really shameful if you think about; why would someone spend all that money or time to make that money and let this piece of work sit without achieving it’s very reason for being because of a burnt out light bulb? Just thoughts now, but who knows maybe a painting.

Plenty to share

Well, it's been a month in the new space, and to tell you the truth, the many things that have poured from my heart and head onto canvas has been eye opening. Egon was finally finished, then came A Boy Named Guw, Transcendental Embrace, We All Fall Down, Male Figure Study 74, working on Escape The Machine. This studio is so inspiring, truly a marvelous world I live in. So I suppose without further hesitation, here are the newbies.(WARNING - images do cantain nudity)

Blanche Dubois

Well, here it is….believe or not we all share something with “Blanche Dubois”. From A STREET CAR NAMED DESIRE…. “Whoever you are, I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.” Because in many cases, life throws you out the way of the ones who said they would be kind. Whether or not we do this on our own, they walk away, or situations arise to claim those who are kind. Chances are you are just left behind to grasp at anything or anyone willing to share a smile or a hello. Have we really become such a machine that we are willing to grind others in our own set of gears? Regardless, we are left alone, missing that connection with the ones we had relationships with and find ourselves empty, drained of the life we had hoped of or were told about. Instead we sit, in a corner removed, an outcast, only given what is required, only using what we are given. However, the greatest gift I was given was to create; this allows me to not let that person stay in the corner, but welcome them and make friends with them. These are my paintings, my strangers, my new friends. These are the strangers I depend on for kindness.

Ladders

Currently I am working on something out of my realm; or is it? I saw an image on a ceiling, yes, my inspiration comes from everything. But it reminded me of a ladder, but it appeared to have a sword as one of the rungs. So I began....however, once again the painting took over, there was already something there wanting to emerge from the canvas. What do you do? Allow it to speak, control, and be born. The one ladder turned to many, almost as if they were falling, but where to, where from, better question, why am I seeing this? So I decided to look up some of the meanings for ladders. Here is what I found:

Psychological Meaning:

A ladder may represent the different levels of consciousness between man and his divine self. It is a symbol of achieving personal wholeness. As a worldly symbol, climbing a ladder may represent progress such as achieving status, power or an important goal. Descending a ladder may represent the opposite or an escape from your spiritual responsibilities.

Mystical Meaning:

The Biblical story of Jacob’s ladder is a symbol for the communication between this world and the spiritual realms. Similarly, in Mesopotamia the Ziggurat was named ‘the ladder to heaven’. In psychological terms this mystic symbolism can be understood as the communication between the true self and the ego. Consider this quote from Twitchell: “The higher one climbs on the spiritual ladder, the more he will grant others their own freedom and give less interference to another’s state of consciousness.”

So now the even more questions arise....am I climbing up or down? Am I achieving a goal, or throwing it away? Am I searching for something to help guide my life to where I need to be?

Rant of the day

Well, here it is 11:24 PM, and I am ready to unleash some serious crap. I am just really sick of the same ole line or excuse....WOW, can I use those too? Finds out that I CAN'T....well shit on me. Seems like double standards are the way to go these days. Sadly, I am not even in a place to scream, let alone run away to do what I do. Unleash this on canvas! Wouldn't that be great? I can see it now, all the REDS, BLUES, OCRE..........BLACK. But to be honest, there is white too...subtle glimpses of hope through a nightmarish rainbow of mere shit. But wouldn't it really be grand though, to release this fury of emotion onto a canvas allowing it just to to take over and express itself in such a beautiful way? I make ART, it's what I do, it's how I think, IT IS what I am......nothing great or wonderful, just a person who thinks of all the pain, sorrow, starving, loss, and other just plain shit life has to offer and tries to make something less painful, sad, without....so there you have it folks. Lemons to lemonade, shit to art.

"Return to the Garden"

It is finished, even through the past couple of weeks of not having the use of my right hand. "You no longer need your sexual charms, You are safe and secure in your Father's perpetual arms." - inspirational excerpt from SECRET PALACE, SECRET GARDEN by Carolyn Nicole Phillips. This is my submission to the soon to be exhibitional contest at CRAZYLAKE ART GALLERY. The piece took upon a life of its own one night. The rough sketch looks almost like a total other image. The piece to me speaks of a lost soul living within the realm of dark as if enveloped by the sexual freedoms of a society, but in the end they are found by the Father and taken back to a place where life can still grow, where innocence can once again be found, where the garden is there - familar of the place called home.

New Artist Statement....a work in progress

Yes, this is a work in progress, I would appreciate feedback if you have the time or feel comfortable with that. I am curious to see how the world see's me in my art.

Robert Hofmann

In MY work I tend not to WORK on a piece with an actual intention. Much like Michelangelo’s statement, “Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it.” A blank canvas IS the same thing to me, knowing that a work is there just waiting to be brought forth. The creation process allows for my own primal force to be displayed through VIVID color, RAW emotion, and STRONG cultural influences. Egon Schiele said, “Art is primordially eternal.” My figurative works produce a mirrored glimpse into the viewer’s own life’s history. By my imagery I bring about a new awareness to others, allowing them to see something they have not seen before. Henri Matisse said it well, “An artist must never be a prisoner. Prisoner? An artist should never be a prisoner of himself, prisoner of style, prisoner of reputation, prisoner of success, etc.” This is something that has juxtaposed my work, utilizing different mediums, application, and just free play.

I believe that as my work evolves, even from a rough sketch into a finished drawing, to a painting, to even a sculpture. This allows for a freedom to express the diversity within my own life, both professionally and personally.

Many pieces are FIGURAL, with subdued imagery, an EDGY appearance, and a DARK humor that invites the viewer to experience their life in a new way, to make changes within thought or perception. I suppose to narrow that down I would like to bring about a new awareness to others, allowing them to see something they have not seen before.

Best of 2010 - The Artist in You

It has been a while since I posted, but here it is, this painting was picked as a best of 2010 on the Artist in You FaceBook page. No real awards, but it has brought me to the attention of many others. And it looks great on my resume. So thank you to you all who voted.